HarryPotter Squares!
by DBZfan01
Summary: This is 1 show of HarryPotter Squares you wont wanna miss! Chapter 2 up!
1. 1st Round

Order: Harry Potter Draco Malfoy Percy Weasley  
  
Ron Weasley Neville Longbottom Ginny Weasley  
  
Hermione Granger Dean Thomas Seamus Finnigan  
  
A/n~ I know that I shouldn't be writing this when I have a lot to complete on my other two fanfics, but this thought came to mind while my mom was watching Hollywood Squares and I just happened to walk in.  
  
Announcer guy~ Please welcome, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy, Neville Longbottom, Dean Thomas, Percy Weasley, Seamus Finnigan, Ginny Weasley! And our contestants, Albus Dumbledore and Lord Voldemort! And we can't forget out host, Tom B!!!!! (I don't know his last name) Welcome to HarryPotter Squares!  
  
Tom~ OK! Who won the coin toss backstage?  
  
Dumbledore~ He cheated!  
  
Voldemort~ Did not!  
  
Dumbledore~ Did to!  
  
Voldemort~ Did not!  
  
Dumbledore~ Did to!  
  
Voldemort~ Did not!  
  
Dumbledore~ Did to!  
  
Voldemort~ Did not!  
  
Dumbledore~ Did to!  
  
Voldemort~ Did not!  
  
Dumbledore~ Did to!  
  
Tom~ OK, I'm guessing that means Voldemort won, OK. Now, whom will you pick for your first turn?  
  
Voldemort~ I'll take Neville Longbottom.  
  
Tom~ The middle square, nice choice! Neville, you said this quote? "I'm going to bed before either of you come up with another way to get us killed, or worse, expelled!"  
  
Neville~ I think that only Hermione Granger's priorities could be so mixed up!  
  
Voldemort~ I agree.  
  
Tom~ Correct!  
  
Voldemort~ Yippee!  
  
Tom~ Dumbledore, your turn.  
  
Dumbledore~ I'll take Harry Potter in the top right corner!  
  
Tom~ You don't have to say where they are, but oh well! Harry, what is the most insulting thing you can say to Lord Voldemort?  
  
Harry~ Um, YOU ARE THE WEAKEST PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE!!!!!!  
  
Tom~ You don't have to shout! We are all right here!  
  
Harry~ Sorry  
  
Dumbledore~ I agree.  
  
Tom~ and the answer is. You're in love with Harry Potter!  
  
Voldemort~ Don't say that around me! It makes me angry! *Yells out a curse and kills ¼ of the people in the audience*  
  
Tom~ Voldemort! You are not allowed to attack people while the game is being played.  
  
Voldemort~ I'm sorry. *starts to cry*  
  
Tom~ shut up and take it like an adult! Sheesh, you can be such a baby sometimes. Anyway, Voldemort, your turn.  
  
Voldemort~ Um, Seamus What's-his-last-name!  
  
Tom~ That's Finnigan, and the question is. How does a Remembrall show that you forgot something?  
  
Seamus~ The smoke inside it turns red!  
  
Voldemort~ I agree!  
  
Tom~ Correct! Voldemort is awarded with 1000 points for winning the round!  
  
Dumbledore~ He cheated!  
  
Voldemort~ Did not!  
  
Dumbledore~ Did to!  
  
Voldemort~ Did not!  
  
Dumbledore~ Did to!  
  
Voldemort~ Did not!  
  
Dumbledore~ Did to!  
  
Voldemort~ Did not!  
  
Dumbledore~ Did to!  
  
Voldemort~ Did not!  
  
Dumbledore~ Did to!  
  
Tom~ OK! We're going to have a commercial break and we'll be back as soon as they are over!  
  
A/n~ I hope you like it! If you notice anything horrible about it, review and tell me in a nice way! Next chapter will be up soon, and it won't be as short!  
  
Chapter Advertisements!  
  
"The Twin's First Year" by "SpiderGirl05"  
  
The title is pretty self-explanatory, this is about the twins' first year at Hogwarts. Answer this. Did you ever wonder what made the twins really known as the troublemakers of Hogwarts? And, what made them want to be the troublemakers of Hogwarts anyways? 


	2. 2nd Round

A/n I want to thank my reviewers. Nutmeg, Heaven and earth aka sheeni, ChibiFuu Malfoy  
  
Tom~ OK! We're back at HarryPotter Squares! This time we have the secret square and the prize is. $5 in Muggle money!  
  
Dumbledore~ That's it?  
  
Tom~ Yea! Isn't it wonderful? But anyways, Voldemort is winning with 1000 points! And Dumbledore has. Er, 0! Wow!  
  
Dumbledore~ He cheated!  
  
Voldemort~ Did not!  
  
Dumbledore~ Did to!  
  
Voldemort~ Did not!  
  
Dumbledore~ Did to!  
  
Voldemort~ Did not!  
  
Dumbledore~ Did to!  
  
Voldemort~ Did not!  
  
Dumbledore~ Did to!  
  
Voldemort~ Did not!  
  
Dumbledore~ Did to!  
  
Tom~ *He's getting angry* JUST PICK A SQUARE ALREADY!!!!  
  
Voldemort~ I choose Longbottom.  
  
Neville~ Yay! I was picked again!  
  
Tom~ OK, Neville. Who is Severus Snape's current crush?  
  
Neville~ I have no clue.  
  
Tom~ You have to say something.  
  
Neville~ Um, Prof. McGonagall?  
  
(From audience) Prof. McGonagall~ That was an insult!  
  
Voldemort~ I disagree.  
  
Tom~ and the correct answer is. Draco Malfoy!  
  
Everybody~ *scream*  
  
Neville~ I'm gonna torment him the rest of his life.  
  
Dumbledore~ Snape, if you happen to be watching this, YOU'RE FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Tom~ (Whispering to himself) I do not think I should have said that. (Normal voice to everyone) Um, go ahead Dumbledore.  
  
Dumbledore~ Hermione Granger  
  
Tom~ (quickly) How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?  
  
Hermione~ Trick question! Woodchucks can chuck wood!  
  
Dumbledore~ Nothing those two people said made any sense to me, so I guess I will just have to agree with Hermione!  
  
Tom~ That is correct! Though I have to admit that I didn't understand any of that either, even the part I said.! Well, Voldemort, take your turn.  
  
Voldemort~ Draco  
  
Tom~ Draco, true or false. Sally sells seashells while seeing seagulls sore in the sky.  
  
Draco~ True  
  
Voldemort~ Agree!  
  
Tom~ Incorrect, that is just a tongue twister made up by some guy who liked making up tongue twisters!  
  
Voldemort~ What a geek.  
  
Tom~ Moving along, Dumbledore?  
  
Dumbledore~ Harry Potter  
  
Tom~ Again! OK, but this question is very hard. Are you ready?  
  
Harry~ Yes  
  
Tom~ How many woodchucks have chucked wood in the last million years?  
  
Harry~ Two, and that is my final answer.  
  
Dumbledore~ I disagree!  
  
Tom~ Correct but Harry, this is not Who Wants to be a Millionaire.  
  
Harry~ well, you said the word million so I guessed that it was Who Wants to be a Millionaire.  
  
Voldemort~ Who cares what you think! It's my turn, and I pick Ron Weasley for the block!  
  
Tom~ Who said this quote? "Kill the spare."  
  
Ron~ Um. uh.  
  
Harry~ *walks into Ron's square and whispers something*  
  
Ron~ Lord Voldemort!  
  
Ginny and Percy~ *gasp*  
  
Ron~ I can't believe I just said that.  
  
Harry~ Now you're living proof that nothing bad happens when you say Voldemort.  
  
Voldemort~ Oh, I liked freaking people out by saying my name while under his permission I was under the alter ego of Arthur Weasley and stole information from the Ministry of Magic!  
  
(From audience) Arthur Weasley~ Hey! You said that you wouldn't tell anyone that we were best friends!  
  
Everyone~ *gasp!*  
  
Ginny~ *faint*  
  
Arthur~ *hits his head against a big book he had just conjured* Stupid, stupid, stupid!  
  
Voldemort~ Anyways, I agree!  
  
Dumbledore~ My turn! I'll take Dean Thomas for the win!  
  
Tom~ What person in this room is the son of a Death Eater?  
  
Dean~ That's obvious. Draco Malfoy.  
  
Dumbledore~ I agree!  
  
Tom~ Dumbledore wins the round!  
  
Draco~ But wait! That isn't supposed to be public information!  
  
Tom~ Let me put it this way. I hate you and your father, so I did this so you'll be sent to Azkaban! Moving along.  
  
Tom~ OK! This is HarryPotter Squares! Dumbledore and Voldemort are tied with 1000 points!  
  
Voldemort~ He cheated!  
  
Dumbledore~ Did not!  
  
Voldemort~ Did to!  
  
Dumbledore~ Did not!  
  
Voldemort~ Did to!  
  
Dumbledore~ Did not!  
  
Voldemort~ Did to!  
  
Dumbledore~ Did not!  
  
Voldemort~ Did to!  
  
Dumbledore~ Did not!  
  
Voldemort~ Did to!  
  
Dumbledore~ Did.  
  
Tom~ SHUT UP!  
  
Everybody~ *Silent*  
  
Tom~ People, nobody picked the secret square, Ginny Weasley, so we'll save the $5 in Muggle money for tomorrow! NOW THIS IS THE END OF ROUND TWO AND IF DUMBLEDORE AND VOLDEMORT DON'T STOP ACTING LIKE CHILDREN AND FIGHTING IN "DID NOT" AND "DID TO" PATTERN I'M GONNA SCREAM! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! *By now Tom is very angry. His face is red, his fists are clenched, and even Voldemort is scared of looking at him.*  
  
Chapter's Advertisement!  
  
"Voldemort's Capture" by "SpiderGirl05"  
  
Voldemort kidnaps Ron and Ginny! Who will be next, and will Harry be able to concentrate on anything with all of his guilt? I know one way to find out, and that's by reading the story!  
  
  
  
"Jeopardy" by "Ailsa"  
  
This is a version of Jeopardy, and guess who the contestants are. You've got it! Harry, Ron and Hermione! While reading this, I couldn't stand up I was laughing so hard, It's so good! Ch.2 is my personal favorite! 


	3. 3rd Round

Tom~ OK! IT'S THE THIRD ROUND OF HARRYPOTTER SQUARES! I AM ANGRY! I AM FURIOUS! I AM IN RAGE! I HAVE HAD IT! ALBUS DUMBLEDORE AND LORD VOLDEMORT KEEP HAVING "DID NOT" AND "DID TO" FIGHTS AND I AM ABOUT TO EXPLODE! Wow, saying that really helped. I feel much better now. People, it is time for round three, which is worth 2000 points. So far, these people are tied with 1000 points. So, let's continue the game. Dumbledore, it is your turn.  
  
Dumbledore~ Seamus Finnigan  
  
Tom~ I thought you were going to say Neville. Oh well, you didn't. The question is. Before Mount. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on the Earth?  
  
Seamus~ Mount Everest! Even though it hadn't been discovered yet, it was still the highest!  
  
Dumbledore~ I agree!  
  
Tom~ Correct!  
  
Voldemort~ Neville  
  
Neville~ Why do you keep picking me?  
  
Voldemort~ Because you're the middle square! Duh!  
  
Neville~ Oh.  
  
Tom~ How many of each animal did Mosses lead onto the ark?  
  
Neville~ 2!  
  
Voldemort~ I disagree!  
  
Tom~ You disagree? Well, the correct answer is. Trick question! The answer is zero because Mosses didn't lead any animals onto the ark, Noah did!  
  
Voldemort~ I knew it!  
  
Neville~ No fair! I'm not good at trick questions!  
  
Tom~ That's just tough!  
  
Neville~ and unfair.  
  
Tom~ STOP ACTING LIKE A BABY, PEOPLE GET TRICK QUESTIONS SOMETIMES! YOU ARE AS BIG OF A GEEK AS THE GUY WHO MAE UP THAT TONGUE-TWISTER LAST ROUND IS! NOW SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Neville~ I'm sorry.  
  
Tom~ GOOD!  
  
Dumbledore~ My turn! I pick Harry!  
  
Tom~ WHAT IS THE SQUARE ROOT (takes a deep breath) of pudding in a bowl of soup divided by 3 potato chips? Harry~ There is no such thing! Tom~ I DON'T CARE TELL ME THE ANSWER ANYWAYS!!!  
  
Dumbledore~ You've got to be kidding me.  
  
Harry~ So you want me to tell you the answer, even though there isn't one?  
  
Dumbledore~ I agree!  
  
Tom~ Correct!  
  
Harry~ What!?!  
  
Tom~ Moving along.  
  
Voldemort~ Hermione Granger.  
  
Tom~ Name a universal language.  
  
Hermione~ Um, Music notes?  
  
Voldemort~ I disagree! Why? Because I hate music, especially when it comes from Dumbledore's stupid phoenix!  
  
Dumbledore~ Why don't you like Fawkes?  
  
Voldemort~ He's yours, why else?  
  
Dumbledore~ How rude!  
  
Tom~ SHUT UP!!!!!! AND ONE OF THE POSSIBLE ANSWERS IS. MUSIC NOTES. DUMBLEDORE, YOUR TURN.  
  
Dumbledore~ Dean Thomas for the win!  
  
Tom~ What is Harry Potter's middle name?  
  
Harry~ I don't even know that!  
  
Dean~ Um. Christopher?  
  
Dumbledore~ I disagree!  
  
Tom~ And the correct answer is. Rufus!  
  
Harry~ What?!?  
  
Tom~ And the correct answer is. Rufus!  
  
Dumbledore~ What kind of middle name is that?!?  
  
Tom~ Don't ask me! And that is the end of round three, and we are now out of time! The winner is Albus Dumbledore! Now, goodbye!  
  
Voldemort~ He ch. Oops.  
  
Tom~ *looks VERY angry*  
  
Voldemort~ Um, never mind!  
  
Hermione~ (writes a letter) Harry, could I borrow Hedwig?  
  
Harry~ Sure! (Sends Hedwig to Hermione.)  
  
Hermione~ (Ties letter to Hedwig's leg)  
  
Hedwig~ (Flies over to Dumbledore)  
  
Dumbledore~ Um, Tom? Is the game officially over now?  
  
Tom~ Yes, why?  
  
Dumbledore~ (Points wand at Voldemort) Avada Kedavra!  
  
Voldemort~ (falls to the ground)  
  
Tom~ Dumbledore, you aren't allowed to attack people during the. Oh, I get it! Anyways, the game is over, goodbye!  
  
A/n~ Sorry all the chapters are so short, they will be getting longer in the next game! :)  
  
"Never Alone, Never Again." by "Bored Beyond Belief"  
  
This story is about what happens to Harry after he is rescued from the Dursleys by. Do I really need to answer that? Well, this is one of the most popular HP stories on the site, and I think that you'll be missing out on a really good story if you don't read this! I mean, how can you miss the Man- eating lawnmowers dream?!? 


	4. 4th Round

Order~ (subject: Hogwarts Workers)  
  
McGonagall/ Vector / Flitwick  
  
Sprout / Hagrid /Trelawney  
  
Hooch~ / Pomfrey / Binns  
  
Tom~ Welcome to HarryPotter Squares! Today, we are doing a special for Hogwarts workers only! The people are. Profs. McGonagall, Vector, Flitwick, Sprout, Trelawney, Binns and Hagrid! And our, um, Madams are Hooch and Pomfrey. Snape was going to be here in place of Prof. Binns, but, in case you forgot, Prof. Dumbledore fired him about a half out ago! Anyways, we have Mr. Filch, another Hogwarts worker! Dumbledore is our returning champion, who won $3,000 last round and blah blah blah! Let's start the game! Who won the coin toss backstage?  
  
Filch~ Albus won.  
  
Tom~ Thank you for saying that like an adult! Dumbledore and Voldemort should take lessons from you! But wait! Only Dumbledore can take a lesson, Voldemort is dead! Well, back to the game. Dumbledore, take your turn!  
  
Dumbledore~ Hagrid.  
  
Tom~ Nice choice! And the question is. What is the last thing I just said?  
  
Hagrid~ And the question is.  
  
Dumbledore~ I disagree.  
  
Tom~ And the answer is. What is the last thing I just said? Well, that was the last thing when I asked the question. OK, your turn Filch!  
  
Filch~ Flitwick.  
  
Tom~ Wop hop o a rop e yop o u?  
  
Flitwick~ Prof. Flitwick!  
  
Filch~ What on Earth.  
  
Flitwick~ It's op talk! Everybody's doing it!  
  
Filch~ Whatever. I guess I agree, how can I do anything else if I don't even know what the question is?  
  
Flitwick~ The question was who are you.  
  
Tom~ Yes!  
  
Dumbledore~ Madame Hooch.  
  
Tom~ On the popular kids TV shows, DragonBallZ and DragonBallGT, who is the father of Bra and Trunks?  
  
Everyone~ WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Tom~ Fine, I'll give you a hint. This person's wife is Bulma, and the family's last name is Briefs.  
  
Madame Hooch~ oh, I love that show! The answer is Vegeta, whose name means Vegetable!  
  
Dumbledore~ Agree?  
  
Tom~ Yes! Filch?  
  
Filch~ These questions are getting weird. But anyways, I.  
  
Tom~ Wait! You can't say that! You lose your turn!  
  
Filch~ No fair!  
  
Tom~ Next time, think before you say something! Well, Dumbledore, go!  
  
Dumbledore~ Prof. McGonagall.  
  
Tom~ What is Sirius Black's middle name?  
  
McGonagall~ What is it with all the middle names? How am I supposed to know this stuff?  
  
Tom~ JUST SAY AN ANSWER! YOU ARE AS PATHETIC AS THAT NEVILLE JERK SOMETIMES! NOW ANSWER!  
  
McGonagall~ OK, OK! Um, Nicholas.  
  
Dumbledore~ I agree.  
  
Tom~ That's what happens when everybody seems to agree! Incorrect, the answer is. Lee!  
  
(From audience) Harry~ Sirius Lee Black? Seriously Black?  
  
Tom~ Isn't that what I just said?  
  
Harry~ Yes but.  
  
Tom~ THEN THAT IS WHAT IS TRUE! NOW SHUT UP YOU LITTLE SUPERSONIC IDIOTIC BOOGER PICKIN' CHICKEN LICKIN' BRAIN AFFECTED DISCONNECTED BIG FAT STUPID MORON!!!  
  
Harry~ jeez, that was kinda. Harsh.  
  
Tom~ LIKE I CARE HOW HARSH I AM! I HATE THIS JOB AND I HATE YOU!  
  
Harry~ Someone needs an attitude adjustment. Or at least a way to control his temper.  
  
Filch~ *waving hand in front of face* And a breath mint.  
  
Tom~ Hey! I heard that, and you have to skip your turn again.  
  
Filch~ Do you know what I think?  
  
Tom~ If I say yes, do you still have to tell me?  
  
Filch~ Yep, and I wanted to tell you that I think that you are just nothing but a big bully and an even bigger meanie-mo!  
  
Tom~ Firstly, you lose your next turn now. And secondly, you aren't the first to say that, Voldemort said it earlier today before the show while I was telling him that he couldn't turn Dumbledore into a bag of peanuts and sell him at a football game.  
  
Dumbledore~ I'm glad he wasn't aloud to do that!  
  
Tom~ His defense was that it wasn't in the rulebook saying that you can't, but I don't care. He should know that you can only turn people into dogs, dirt, pens, hats, Mountain Dew bottles, hair brushes, computers, plates, grass, pizza, magnets, chairs, telephones, shoes, jackets, bookmarks, curtains, notebooks, lions, rubber bands, a keyboard, a house, CDs, CD players, and paper clips, but not bags of peanuts.  
  
Dumbledore~ OK.  
  
Tom~ Now, lets move on, we are way behind schedule and need to catch up. Dumbledore, your turn.  
  
Dumbledore~ I chose Prof. Sprout.  
  
Tom~ Why do I want to be an Oskamier Wiener?  
  
Sprout~ OoOoOoO I love this song! Everybody!  
  
Everybody~ I wish I were an Oskimier Wiener, that is what I really want to be!  
  
Cuz' if I were an Oskimier Wiener, all the girls would be in love with me. *Clapping*  
  
Tom~ Dumbledore, do you agree or disagree?  
  
Dumbledore~ I agree. I guess.  
  
Tom~ Yippee Skippy! Filch's turn!  
  
Filch~ Prof. Vector for the win!  
  
Tom~ Why don't I want to be an Oskimier Wiener?  
  
Vector~ Yes, that is a beautiful song. Everyone!  
  
Everyone~ I'm glad I'm not an Oskimier Wiener, it's something I don't really want to be!  
  
Cuz if I were an Oskimier Wiener, Everyone would take a bite out of me!  
  
Filch~ I agree.  
  
Tom~ Correct!  
  
Dumbledore~ Well cheese and crackers, I lost. That stinks like the dickens.  
  
Tom~ You do have some more chancves to beat him you know.  
  
Dumbledore~ Oh yeah!  
  
  
  
A/n: Sorry I haven't updated, I completely forgot about all of my stories, then I made a new one for DragonBallZ (I love that show!) that I have been focusing on. Next chapter will be posted after review 14! 


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